The ideal Filipino man is nothing short of monolithic machismo—stern and stoic, his every action is a declaration of masculinity. It is a familiar template: having a knack for sports, an audacious disposition, and a disdain for softness and vulnerability.
While movements for breaking gender norms have flourished in recent years, any attempt to tear down these impenetrable walls of standard masculinity is still frowned upon. Indeed, there are men who are more in touch with their feminine traits, albeit at the cost of being seen as less of a man. The preference for testosterone-dominant men fuels prejudice, reinforcing the negative connotation of being effeminate.
Risky exploration
Effeminacy carries with it a fluidity that contradicts the rigidity of masculinity. Characterized by the manifestation of traditionally feminine traits like soft and emotional, the concept is the embodiment of what the patriarchal society believes men shouldn’t be. Sociology and Behavioral Sciences professor Rodmar Eda details the diverse expressions of effeminate men: “Fluid [‘yung femininity], warm, welcoming…it can be [described as these] when it comes to shape, form, aesthetic.” Whether it’s having an intricate sense of fashion or a high-pitched voice, anything that defies the mold is labeled as such.
Naturally, there are men who embrace effeminate traits and acknowledge their more delicate side as an integral part of who they are. “This is my comfort zone,” Joshua Ang (III, AB-CAM) shares, reflecting on his gentle behavior and close friendships with women. “Mas draining, mas nakakapagod pa na magbago ako and try to act differently than just how I am,” he adds. Meanwhile, Chester Codizal (II, AB-PSM) credits his family for fostering emotional openness, enabling him to find comfort in vulnerability. “They’ve molded me to be someone who [can be] open with my emotions. They let me cry. They just let me be who I am.”
(It’s more draining and more tiring to change myself…)
Alas, self-discovery often comes at the price of facing belittling remarks and disapproving stares. Both Ang and Codizal have experienced instances of name-calling. Be it in bustling streets or crowded school hallways, the threat of a mocking “bakla ka ba?” hangs heavy in the air.
(Are you gay?)
Even in queer communities where one would seek support, Ang shares that effeminate men often face rejection in dating. “Kasi parang mas preferred ‘yung mga masculine na gays compared to fem (feminine) gays,” Ang adds, further pointing out the well-worn phrase “pass sa halata.”
(There’s a preference for masculine gays compared to feminine gays.)
Standing out on streets paved by toughness, the men who exhibit softness are marked as targets of harassment and other forms of abuse. As a means of survival, the only option one might be left with is to water down their femininity. “Mae-explain ko ba ‘yun (why I act this way) [sa] gustong patayin ako na dahil [nandidiri] sa bading? Hindi,” he laments.
(Will I be able to explain why I act this way to someone who wants to kill me because they’re disgusted with gays? No.)
Breaking bounds
The roots of such prejudice extend beyond homophobia; Eda offers a sociological interpretation that every institution—from schools, governments, and even families—“perpetuate, can perpetuate, or has perpetuated these kinds of discrimination or narratives.” This represents just how confined the country is in its traditional, binary notions of self-expression. When the bounds of what gender is supposed to be are presupposed, it assigns you to a role beyond your will and preconceived notions you can’t go against. This is the problem Codizal and Ang both contend, as they recall any ounce of femininity being tagged as “Barbie,” a derogatory term in Filipino culture for flamboyant men.
In this context, conservative ideals erode the soil for effeminate men. Ultimately, the deprecative view of more colorfully expressive individuals is rooted in sexism and misogyny. Eda explains that throughout history, any expression of femininity is viewed as inferior to its counterpart by default. “We often associate masculinity with objectivity, logic, and self-control,” they impart. This is made evident by the domination of men in fields such as the physical sciences.
This perspective on effeminate behaviors is especially overt in the local entertainment industry. Filipino celebrities such as Vice Ganda rose to fame amid national views on gender because of the shallow understanding of what gender is in the media. If there’s any selling point to effeminacy in men, it’s humor and amusement. Not straying too far from home were the University’s own Green Archers cross-dressing for a pep rally, who were quickly met with backlash by online audiences, including their own fans.
Through Ganda’s roles such as all the Filipino-known bounds of gender in Girl, Boy, Bakla, Tomboy, it’s no surprise that our cognizance of the concept is conformed into these four categories.
Today, the problem is not only recovering from these conservative tendencies. It’s also a question of why we need to reconcile and accept femininity among men in the first place. No matter how much praise Harry Styles garners for sporting a skirt or Kyle Echarri as the latest endorser of cosmetics brand Maybelline, these do not begin to scratch the surface of what queer realities are like because according to Eda, these displays are only “surface level.” Should it not be a given for one to be entitled to their own self-expression, or does society still presume femininity equates to weakness?
Afoot forward
Any hints of effeminacy in a predominantly masculine space feel like fragile flowers underfoot, waiting to be trampled by violence and hate. It is to this point that Eda validates how collective action can spark change, saying in Filipino, “This is why people who are trying to fight against oppression need to talk…because it’s possible you’re coming from the same place, or it can even connect to their own struggles.”
While change needs to start from within, we need to see progress in the practices permitted by the government. Legislative measures are still the ultimate move toward cementing the place of effeminate men and other queer identities in society. Ang points out that the “long overdue” Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity or Expression Equality Bill is the greatest stride the administration can take to propel the movement.
Empowering effeminate men is not far from our arms’ reach. We must be champions of a cause that only hopes to represent and esteem this marginalized sector in society. Codizal believes that amid the garble of what people have to say about boys’ flamboyance, the best foot forward is to cancel out the noise and focus on the voice from within. As for Rodmar, they closed with a reminder to surround yourself with people who keep the faith, fight the struggle, and honor the human individuality: “Find your garden where you can bloom.”
