Since time immemorial, the typical notion of romance has followed a clear template: courtships, labels, and well-defined milestones. Today’s dating scene, however, has embraced “situationship”—a loosely bound relationship that blurs the line between commitment and casual intimacy. From late-night texts void of daytime commitments to bubbling chemistry that never solidifies, many are often left confused with what exactly a situationship constitutes. As modern dating leans into ambiguity, more and more people find themselves entangled in these emotionally charged yet label-free connections. In the words of Tyrone* (III, AB-SOC), “I read a lot [into] ano’ng meron kami, and then ang ending, nababaliw ako.”
(I read a lot into what we have, and it ends up driving me crazy.)
The gray areas of modern romance may loom, but one thing remains clear: organic human relationships, no matter how undefined, are shaped by intricate emotions, experiences, and personal choices that defy binary definitions.
It’s complicated
As times evolve, norms and beliefs follow suit. While the term “situationship” may be new, the premise itself is not a novel concept. As DLSU Senior High School professor Chrizelle Villanueva puts it, “[For] every situation, every phenomenon, your [generation has] a label [for it].” Compared to the olden “mutual understanding” phrase, she explains that a situationship is a marriage of old practices, modern ideologies, and evolving technologies.
Dating has become more accessible and convenient through digital channels like dating apps. Interestingly, Villanueva’s research found that most people enjoy what situationships offer—the highs of being in a romantic relationship without the burden of responsibility. Bianca* (II, BS-PSYC) affirms that no-commitment setups are weights off her shoulders, especially as an only child. “I really don’t want any commitment, and my parents are strict, so I can’t have a boyfriend [anyway],” she details.
For Liam Cruz, a student from the University of Santo Tomas, the joy of situationships is in meeting new people. “I think people should go out more [and] get to know each other,” he asserts. The same is true for Tyrone, who also sees situationships as an opportunity to navigate his preferences and boundaries. Reflecting the ever-evolving landscape of romance, situationships prove that while love’s rules may change, the game stays the same.
In the gray area
Still, situationships pose challenges that often test the extent of affection, time, and effort an individual can give and reciprocate. While most cases start with clear boundaries for the relationship, others arrive at the sinking point too late when they begin to question its circumstances. For Cruz, a pertinent internal dilemma lies in confronting a difficult question: Is the situationship headed somewhere at all?
Likewise, Bianca believes that it is the ambiguity of devotion that complicates these arrangements. Unspoken expectations and mixed signals usually arise in her situationships, leading to the instability of their commitment. Tyrone, too, wrestles with the challenge of differing definitions and labels of the relationship. “‘I’m kind of scared [of] confrontations. [Especially] when we arrive at a point where we ask ourselves, ‘do you want anything more than this?’” He lays out in Filipino.
Swiping left on red flags
Within the shaky grounds of intimacy, one may unearth their approaches and preferences to love and dating. As such, Tyrone still chooses to go with the flow. “Kasi in one way or another, may matututunan ka [riyan] eh,” he posits.
(Because one way or another, you’ll learn something.)
Despite the emotional risks, most people believe that love—no matter how complex, superficial, prolonged, or fleeting—is never a waste of time and effort. Situationships help them define themselves, their metrics for the perfect partner, and the magnitude of their love for a person. It’s a matter of exploration, “not in the way that they’re trying to look for themselves or looking for themselves [through] that person, but rather their preference,” Villanueva elaborates. Ultimately, these relationships shape one’s perspective on love, boundaries, personal growth, and self-worth.
Treading the fine line of situationships can only be done with open and honest communication. “Ask each other your intentions, your motives, [and] what the other person wants from you,” Bianca imparts in Filipino. Cruz agrees, noting that being upfront about one’s desires—whether for a casual dynamic or the hope for something more—can prevent misunderstandings and impending heartaches. “Your partner isn’t a mind reader. They won’t know your needs if you’re not going to talk about it,” he points out.
Apart from meeting halfway, self-respect must remain a priority. Bianca warns that many compromise their standards simply because they like the other person, which plunges them into a rabbit hole of settling for less and enduring silent discontent. In journeying through this two-way street, one must find the courage to stand up for their needs and preferences. This is a crucial step not just within the confines of a situationship, but also in the pursuit of a meaningful, long-term relationship.
So, ano ba talaga tayo?
There is no easy way to answer the dreaded question that haunts every situationship. But beneath the fear of commitment and short-lived romances lie a deeper path of self-discovery and intimacy. No matter how fleeting or unconventional it may be, Tyrone chooses to embrace the thrill: “Mag-e-enjoy ka kasi may thrill na nakakabaliw, [at] mag-eenjoy [din] yung mga friends mo sa kwento.”
(You’ll have fun because there’s a thrill that drives you crazy, and your friends will also enjoy hearing your stories.)
For Cruz, however, the time and effort are worth it as he clings to the hope that these seemingly trivial connections might lead to something more. In his words, “I want to hold on to something, to belong, [and] to arrive somewhere and never have to leave.”
In the ever-changing tides of dating, one thing remains constant: the desire for connection. The very existence of situationships stands as yet another testament to how this longing persists and evolves across generations. If people find meaning and growth in these new dynamics, who’s to say their experiences are any less valid than those in traditional relationships?
*Names with asterisks (*) are pseudonyms.
This article was published in The LaSallian‘s Menagerie Special 2025. To read more, visit bit.ly/TLSMenagerieSpecial2025.
