Growing up, I have always been highly disinterested in romantic relationships. While I was never opposed to having one, my apathy is often met with the same response: “You’ll change your mind when you find the one.”
This greatly confused me when I was twelve, and it still confuses me now that I am 20. When I explain that I am perfectly content with spending my life in the company of friends and family, some would insist that “I still have a chance,” as if my current situation is pitiful. It is a common misconception that those who strictly rely on friendships are destined to die alone, but this belief seems largely unsupported when analyzed objectively.
Many cultures place romantic relationships at the top of the hierarchy of interpersonal relationships. Of course, there is an emphasis on family and community, but most are conditioned to find a romantic partner. Because once you do, everything else becomes “secondary.”
The logic behind this is mostly deemed reasonable—romantic relationships are expected to be more intimate, and thus, more exclusive. A healthy couple provides joy and comfort to each other during the time they spend together, and sometimes there are financial benefits for married couples. Hence, it is not absurd to perceive a romantic relationship as something vital in one’s life.
What I do question is the notion that a non-romantic relationship is insufficient. Our society maintains that people are born with a void that finding “the one” can fill, and true happiness cannot be found otherwise. Due to this, and oftentimes the loneliness and the social stigma of being single cause people to rush into undesirable relationships.
This becomes uniquely isolating for those who have little to no interest in romance. When everyone else holds romantic relationships on a higher pedestal, it often feels as though friendships are bound to be discarded. There’s a reason why several tropes in fiction often portray lifelong friendships as easily contested by recent romantic pursuits. If your friend has a partner, you have no right to expect more from them, and vice versa. Your friendships are best kept low-maintenance and low-effort. This stance implies that friendships serve as temporary remedies to loneliness, but they can never be the cure itself.
With how people in romantic relationships are expected to prioritize their partners, it is impossible to deny that our society devalues platonic relationships at large. An individual who does not yearn for romantic love is deemed devoid of love entirely because platonic love is viewed as inferior.
The issue with this perspective is that there is nothing that dictates that a friendship is an inherently less fulfilling relationship. The idea that romantic relationships are more valuable is socially constructed, with the benefits that derive from romantic relationships being created to adhere to this construct.
Important characteristics of romantic relationships, such as love, commitment, mutual respect, and even emotional intimacy, can be feasibly found in platonic relationships as well. It is possible that many do not recognize this because of ingrained societal bias—people are more incentivized to enter romantic relationships than to develop meaningful friendships. If friendships were emphasized as core human needs to the same extent that romance is, then perhaps more people would invest in building meaningful ones.
Romantic relationships will always be integral to the lives of many people, but they don’t have to interfere with the worth ascribed to a person’s relationships, romantic or not. A label does not have to dictate the effort and care that one extends to the people in their life. The love of your life can be your partner, your closest friends, your family, or even all three at once. It does not matter which one it is; a person who is surrounded by and emanates love could never die alone.
This article was published in The LaSallian‘s January 2026 issue. To read more, visit bit.ly/TLSJan2026 .
