College has always kept me wondering with everything it entailed. I started with one goal in mind – to pursue my passion. I began being so sure of this goal, thinking I had that much potential, like I was part of a new generation of minds that will bring great change to the world. It even reflected in my course, as I was a LIA-COM student. I had this small sense of pride that I was able to achieve this. How many people get to proclaim in this University that they are in a double degree program with both degrees hailing from two very different colleges? Very few. From those few, even fewer get to finish. I saw it as a journey that I had to take to fulfill my goal. In hard times I’d always think that in the future I’ll look back and laugh at how I overcame it. I was sure I’d pull it off.
Little did I know that everything I stood for would drastically change, as the LIA-COM flowchart is designed is such that one takes one’s arts majors first, then to have business majors after. Here I thought: “This will be easy!” Within two years, everything I believed in that was mentioned in the introduction of this column would no longer apply to me now.
It all started with my LIA course – Literature. Now I must start with this, everything I learned from my one term majoring in Literature, I cherish. No matter how nerve racking the course was, all that I learned from that one term I carry with me still, and I try to apply it as much as I can. Choosing literature for me was the passion I dreamt as a kid. I was fond of writing stories, creating wondrous adventures with characters that are uniquely relatable. I thought that this course would take my skills to the level I aim for; to soon be at par with notable literary figures such as Nick Joaquin or maybe even J.R.R. Tolkien.
Sadly, it wasn’t meant to be. What I didn’t know was that the literature program was heavily research based; less to do with creative writing and more on literary theories, criticism, and interpretation. Of course, with a stubborn head, I thought that this setback wouldn’t stop me. But week after week, paper after paper, deadline upon deadline of reviews and other paperwork, I reached my limit. Doing all-nighters on a weekly basis will not do you good. I was always sick and sleepy in classes. I tried really hard to push through. With a heavy heart, I tried sticking to it. But in the end, I had to leave.
The term after didn’t go so well, either. Obviously with my LIA course out of the picture I simply thought, “Well, on with the COM course then!” That was stupid of me. My COM course was BSA. I chose BSA on the basis that I was good in Math in high school so this probably won’t be that different. Freaking, BSA. I didn’t even let my literature experience get in the way of it. With empty confidence I thought again, “This will be easy!” No, it was not. This was my first term having most of my schedule made up of business classes; I was again blinded by my own assurance that I’ll make it. At the end of the term, the thought of me doing this for the rest of my life scared me. I mean with just one class in accounting I already couldn’t handle, what more if it becomes my job, my occupation, my life.
So in a nutshell: within two terms, my course was done for. I couldn’t survive literature and I couldn’t handle accounting. I was back to square one. After two years, I was back at the starting line.
Now I’m not saying that the course which you think is right for you will end up being the wrong one nor am I saying that those who are in the BSA program right now should start shifting. All I have to say is that it took me two years to realize this. Two years to actually let go of my pride. I didn’t take it seriously enough, I didn’t think hard enough; I thought I was this immune person that can succeed no matter what obstacle blocked my way. Though it is good to think that we are capable of so much, we have to remember that we have limitations. At some point we have to admit that we cannot do everything just by thinking that we can. Because right now, I can no longer just pick it up as I go along; going with the flow will drown you. You can’t just ride on and see where it will take you. An effort must be made; a passion must be strived for. Get a paddle and start rowing.