I wish zombies existed

“When Death laughs, no one else does,” says Amy Neftzger in the book entitled The Orchard of Hope. 

After my brother’s untimely death in 1998, I promised myself that his early passing would not mean his complete departure from this world. I vowed to always remember him and that his death will only mean physical separation from the rest of the living. In the process of contemplating the loss, I adopted the mindset of a stubborn kid who refuses to believe that he can lose his younger brother as simple as that. But sadly, regardless of the will that you put up whenever you lose someone dear, death will always have the final laugh as it kicks you in the gut and delivers a grim reality.

Despite studying in Catholic schools for the majority of my student life, I have come to realize that I am neither religious nor spiritually inclined. Well, at least not yet. I do not believe in superstition, and I don’t believe that the dead could hear whatever it is that the living are saying. What I do believe is this: the dead continue to live based on how we want them to live. Whenever our loved ones die, we don’t treat them as mere lifeless corpses; as a matter of fact, we can’t even bear seeing them inside a coffin or cremated into ashes. If we had it our way, we would want them to live. We would want them to stay. It doesn’t really matter if it’s impossible. Even if the dead give us a cold hollow stare in the face, we still just want them back. This is probably the reason why we see their image and feel their presence in the material things that they have left behind. Why, we see them in the features and behaviors of the youngest members of the family. And this is also probably the reason why we know that they’re still here with us.

At October’s end and until the first two days of November, we celebrate the feast for our saints and our deceased. Being the world’s third largest Catholic nation, Filipinos used to enjoy solemn nights that are full of prayers to commemorate their dead relatives. Nowadays however, gloomy cemeteries come alive with family reunions, camp outs, music, and food, as an attempt to pay tribute to those who are buried. In the same manner, households accommodating the ashes of the deceased are also littered with numerous guests and abundant food. Nevertheless, family reunions and celebrations do not spell out a dilemma during these spiritual days.  As a matter of fact, the fact that we do commemorate a day to celebrate the souls of the deceased is actually an indication that we do care and that we do want them to be happy wherever afterlife is. May it be heaven, nirvana, or any other concept of paradise, all we want to do is let the deceased feel the love that we could have given if they stayed longer in the material world.

Although, the commemoration of the dead – and saints – should not be limited to the days our religion dictates us to follow. Remembering the dead is a gesture of appreciation and communication and therefore should be done without needing an occasion to do so. I’m not saying or preaching that we should commemorate the dead every single day or week. What I’m simply trying to say is that do not forget the ones that you’ve cared for the most, since even if they’re not around anymore, I’m pretty sure they’re somewhere out there. I for one made it to a point to keep my brother existing in my thoughts at least. I would solemnly rant to him inside my head, or deliver good news, or if I were going through a difficult time, I would ask him for advice. I’d silently speak to him in my head to the point that I would wish for him to be here instead. Much like the iconic zombies that George A. Romero created, I wish he’d come back to life, but minus all the gore and horror.

That’s why in line with the recent holidays, why don’t you say hi to those you’ve lost? Actually, talk to them whenever you wish. You don’t really need a holiday to commemorate them. And besides, it’s not like they have somewhere else to be.