Number two

Nothing can go wrong when you go number two, unless you are an institution that may have gravitated too much on that number at the cost of your top stakeholder.

When it comes to numbers, two is my clear favorite. 

It is a nod to my journey, how I always was second honors in elementary before clawing my way up to be class valedictorian. It also holds mathematical significance, such as how it is the only even prime, how two points make a line, or how basic logic is two-sided. There’s also symbolism in it—that two make a team and that it takes two things to learn about contrast and balance.

Having one specific favorite number out of infinite options takes some level of being obsessed with numbers. From what I see, DLSU might have the same obsession as I do, both with my favorite number and with numbers in general. 

For a university that is usually in third place, DLSU understandably gravitates toward the number two. From honoring only two days of independent learning week for the second term in a row, to giving a meager two weeks of term break for students to return on May 2, to being on its way to implementing a nearly P200-per-unit tuition fee increase, the University grabbed the opportunity to dump it all out and go number two. Coincidentally, all these happened in Term 2.

Beyond this newfound dedication to the number, the University saw being second as an opportunity to be the first place at something. At least when you are number two, you are almost bound to be number one from a certain viewpoint.

For instance, DLSU is the number one private university, according to EduRank. This term’s independent learning week is the number one un-Catholic thing the University has done. The ridiculously short term break is a student’s one final straw to whatever this scheduling blunder the admin so wisely picked.

There is no denying that DLSU is a reputable institution thanks to minds that boosted research productivity and phone stands that boosted TikTok visibility. DLSU was able to make the best tagline for itself: the future begins here. Indeed, because of DLSU’s heavy tuition and insufferable decision-making, Lasallians consider continuing their futures elsewhere. They should really address that weakness, but at least they banked on their strengths for now.

On a serious note, once policies and decisions fail to consider the welfare of Lasallians for the sake of following faulty systems and meeting high standards, DLSU fails its mission and service to provide inclusive quality education for all.

Numbers and standards are necessary to maintain competitiveness. I constantly check the engagements whenever I x (or whatever tweeting is called now) to cement my spot in the clout-chasing market. However, the administration shouldn’t be clout-chasing. Leave that to me.

Instead, they should satisfy their constituents’ needs aside from satisfying the demands of the rankings. Numbers that matter should go beyond those that are outward-looking and encompass those that represent the consensus of the community. 

The University is already excellent in rankings; no one’s doubting our big four status, which unfortunately isn’t the case for all four of us. Hopefully, though, DLSU will devote the effort to rank the problems of Lasallians, too, and then solve them one by one. It is high time that the administration leads Lasallians by example and stops being so out of touch.

It is a privilege to study in an institution such as DLSU that imposes high standards and posts high ratings. But sometimes, its decisions beg the question, are we truly the University’s primary stakeholders, or are we just at most priority number two?

This article was published in The LaSallian‘s Spoof 2024 issue. To read more, visit

Carl Joshua Mamuri

By Carl Joshua Mamuri

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