In Filipino society, motherhood is traditionally framed as a biological and marital role centered on a woman’s ultimate sacrifices, domestic responsibilities, and moral guidance within the nuclear family.
While this image remains prominent, it does not reflect the full spectrum of what it means to be a mother in modern times. According to Dr. Diana Veloso, associate professor from the Department of Sociology and Behavioral Sciences, “One doesn’t necessarily need to have given birth to children in order to mother them.” In this, motherhood may be thrust upon someone through different means, such as adoption, marriage, or surrogacy. This more expansive and inclusive ontology highlights how caregiving, at its core, transcends biology and challenges the narrow expectations placed on women in a patriarchal society.
Echoing this, Elvira Go, a single mother, describes motherhood as a fluid, ever-evolving commitment: “It’s a lifelong journey of nurturing, guiding, and building both lives and futures for my children.” For those in unconventional maternal setups, the true essence of motherhood lies in the willingness to learn and grow alongside their children.
Nurturing beyond the norms
By exploring a different form of motherhood, Ms. P* breaks its traditional mold. Tending to a child who is not bound by blood, she affirms, “I didn’t think of him [as any] less [as my] kid [just] because he didn’t come from me.” This simple yet powerful declaration redefines what it means to be a mother. In her everyday acts from school drop-offs to bedtime stories, Ms. P proves that love, not lineage, is the true foundation of family.
In the same vein, Go describes motherhood as “a long way to the thing that you need to do,” reflecting the ongoing effort required to care for her children alone. Balancing a full workload with parenting, she faces daily challenges that test her endurance and resolve: “Fear is normal, but you find ways to solve it…you also do something about it.” For Go, among countless other mothers, being a single mother is not a limitation but a calling, one that they embrace with arms wide open.
Ms. P’s own path to motherhood was unplanned, yet guided by profound purpose. When she decided to become a guardian, she stepped into a role that challenged not only her personal life but also her family’s traditional beliefs. The legal strains she encountered only further magnified these tensions, as court hearings probed into her finances rather than her capacity for compassion, exposing the rigid, outdated frameworks that continue to limit what a family can be.
Together, Ms. P and Go embody a broader, more inclusive definition of motherhood—one centered on commitment rather than convention. As Veloso notes, motherhood “doesn’t need to be limited to biological ties” and can take many forms, including adoption and stepmotherhood.
Love enveloped in sacrifices
“He came as a miracle,” Ms. P happily describes her son. Her journey into motherhood was a difficult endeavor; even after she experienced unsuccessful in vitro fertilization procedures, adoption was never in the books. It was through her enduring love for children that became a beacon for this destined role. As such, the compassionate, self-sacrificing nature of mothers in putting their children above all else is innate.
Veloso, however, notes that this selfless love comes at a cost. She points out how societal expectations place unfair burdens on mothers, particularly in contrast to paternal figures. “If anything happens to their children, people tend to blame it on the mother, whether or not the mother is present or absent in the child’s life,” she says.
“[Mothers] essentially have to be perfect. They can’t mess up. If anything happens to them, they take the flak, not the father,” Veloso explains, adding that this imposed societal standard is a prominent barrier that Filipino mothers are expected to unfortunately overcome. Go herself has had her share of this said scrutiny, saying, “[People] expect me to choose between my children and my work, while fathers are praised for [balancing] both.”
Bearing the beauty of caregiving
Ms. P echoes that there is still a multitude of advancements needed to surmount these patriarchal and institutional barriers. “With so [many] kids in this country, [even] if only one capable person would adopt one [child], I think it will improve the whole society—if only we [were] a little bit open-minded,” she expresses. Her hope banks on the betterment of the Philippines’ adoption system to allow disadvantaged children to experience the warmth of loving homes, a pivotal fate she wishes to share with fellow parents.
Go likewise views motherhood as a privilege rather than a limitation. “It has given me the strength to lead, to understand, and the reason to persevere. My children inspire me to grow every day…that, to me, is the greatest honor of all,” she lovingly states.
Despite the mountains they climb and storms they weather, mothers continue to press on—not for their own glory, but for their young beloved. And so, they are owed more than commendations for their great efforts and instead deserve a world wherein every mother, regardless of their identity or background, is seen, heard, and celebrated.
*Names with asterisks (*) are pseudonyms.
